


No More Tears

by ElvenOfRivendell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Mentions of past abuse, mentions of past rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 02:43:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16884141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvenOfRivendell/pseuds/ElvenOfRivendell
Summary: You have an inabilty to cry, and you tell Gabriel the reason why.





	No More Tears

“You don’t seem that upset about it!” he shouted at you as a book fell from it’s shelf when he slammed his hand against it.  
“Well, Dean, I’m sorry I can’t produce salty water in my eyes to prove it to you!” you screamed back at him and threw the book at him, but he ducked it. You gave an angry yell at nothing before you ran to the kitchen. It wasn’t the first time you’d fallen out with anyone over your inability to cry. No one seemed to understand that tears weren’t the only way to express sadness or hurt. It wasn’t like you forced yourself not to cry, you just couldn’t, even if you tried. You hadn’t cried since you were seventeen.

You grabbed a beer from the fridge and slammed it shut angrily, about to move up to your room, when you heard the flutter of wings and a second later saw Gabriel right in front of you.  
“Hey, (Y/N),” he said cheerily, making you groan. You pushed past him and walked to your room. Once again you heard wings and Gabriel was sat on the armchair next to your bed.  
“What do you want?” you snapped, but regretting it as it wasn’t him you were angry at, or upset with.  
“Came to hang out with you,” the archangel replied simply, “what’s got you in a twist?” he asked.  
“It’s stupid,” you said and took a few sips of your beer, “just mad at Dean right now.”  
“What’s Frick done this time?”  
“I thought Sam was Frick and Dean was Frack?” you joked with a small smile, making Gabriel grin.  
“Fine, what’s Frack done to piss off my human?” You melted a little every time he called you his human.

“He’s on me about the whole crying thing again. I don’t understand what’s so bloody hard for him to grasp, I don’t cry, I express my feelings in other ways!”

“Like snapping at everyone and everything? Throwing stuff, having too much sex and drinking too much alcohol?” Gabriel was an annoying piece of shit sometimes, but he always managed to make you smile.  
“Yeah, something like that.” After a moment, your smile faltered, and Gabriel’s with it. He reached out and pushed some hair behind your ear.  
“So what’s got you upset in the first place, then?”  
“Someone we know had an accident and is in a coma.”  
“And Dean wailed then, I suppose? Since he’s on you for not doing that.”  
“No, and that’s the thing. Sam doesn’t cry, Dean pretty much only cries if someone dies, and even then he might just take it out by drinking and screaming.”  
“So why the heck is he on you?” Gabriel threw his hands in the air.  
“Dunno, man.”

You and Gabriel sat in silence while you finished your beer, then you looked at him and frowned at his expression.  
“What?” you asked, and Gabriel looked up at you.  
“Why don’t you cry? I’m not pressuring you, I’m just curious.” He seemed genuine in his question, but you hesitated. “Sweetie, I’m your boyfriend, I-”  
“I hate that word, sounds childish,” you cut him off.  
“Alright, I’m your archangel. We’ve been together for over three years now, you can tell me.”  
“I know, it’s just…”  
“I know you had a damn awful past, and I know how that can mess people up.” You groaned and buried you face in your hands.

“There’s still something I haven’t told you,” you admitted, and practically felt Gabriel frown.  
“And what’s that, sugar?”  
“Well, I had a boyfriend when I was seventeen.”  
“Seriously? You said you’d never had one, that’s why had such difficulty accepting us as a couple in the first place.”  
“Yeah, well… ugh,” you groaned again. “I did, anyway. You know I’ve lived with Bobby since I was twelve, and it’s been amazing, but… We had this huge argument once, and I ran away. Worst decision I’ve ever made.”  
“What happened?” Gabriel moved from his chair to sit beside you instead, wrapping an arm around you.  
“I met a guy. Jacob. He saved me, or at least that’s how I felt back then. I fell head over fuckin’ heels for him, and it was all flowers and rainbows for a few months, but then he started changing… It was the little things, you know? The ones you don’t really notice until it’s too late.”

Gabriel started making a french braid out of your hair when you kept moving it from your face again and again. A relieved sigh left your lips at the feel of his gentle hands in your hair.  
“Continue,” he said softly.  
“Well, it started with little comments about my clothes, how they didn’t sit right or that I should buy something nicer, then it evolved into control issues, he’d always ask me who I’d been with as soon as I went outside, even if it was just to buy lunch.”  
“Dick…” Gabriel muttered to which you just nodded.  
“Then it just headed downhill. Textbook example of abusive boyfriend. He was sweet, gentle and amazing a lot of the time, but then he’d become angry, or hurt, or something… Then one time I came home three minutes later than promised, and he hit me.” Gabriel’s hands tensed up in your hair, and you felt his anger seep through him.

“After that, beating me became a habit of his, every time I displeased him, which I seemed to do a lot. If I burned one cookie out of thirty he’d call me a crappy chef and slap me. If I wore trousers that sagged in the back he’d call me a stick and shove me into the nearest wall.” Gabriel gritted his teeth the more you talked. He finished the braid and tied it off before you continued. “He went out alone sometimes, I think he cheated on me a couple of times. And those nights, I’d cry myself to sleep. I cried every time he left the apartment, it was the only time I could cry without him getting angry. And then one day…” your voice cracked a little, “then one day he came home drunk, and I hadn’t cleaned because I had a stomach ache and could barely move. He shouted, and cursed and hit me… Then he kicked me, he didn’t usually kick me, but when I was on the ground, he… he-” you spoke faster and faster as your breathing sped up and to your surprise, you felt your eyes sting.

“He what, sweetie? What did he do?” Gabriel rubbed your back and fought back his anger.  
“He raped me,” you whispered as the tears fell from your eyes. Gabriel clenched his fists and gnashed his teeth, but managed to calm down again. He pulled you into his arms and kissed your hair.  
“It happened two more times,” you struggled to finish the story, “and the last time, I was beaten bloody, bruised all over, and it was… just awful. That’s when I ran. I stole his car, almost crashed it twice, and drove to Bobby’s. It was the only place I knew was safe, but I also knew he’d be angry with me still. I knocked on the door and… I don’t remember much, but I remember crying to Bobby about being sorry, knowing that he wouldn’t want me back and so on. He hugged me, told me that he’d always want me back no matter what. He patched me up and helped me get back on my feet. That was the last time I cried, when Bobby took care of me after what Jacob had done. I cried for days and then never again after that. He took my tears away from me.” You cried into Gabriel’s chest for several minutes before you ran out of tears again.  
“What he did to me was a worse experience than what my father did, because I always knew my father hated me, but Jacob, I thought he loved me, so it hurt even more.”

Gabriel held you tightly while he tried to figure out what to say. He couldn’t for the love of his father understand how anyone could do that, especially to his human, his wonderful (Y/N).  
“Thank you,” he said finally, “for telling me.” You smiled at him and placed a small peck on his lips.  
“I’m really happy I have you, Gabriel,” you said and ran a few fingers across his warm cheek.  
“I’m really happy I have you, too. Hey, are you sure it’s just cause you think it sounds childish that you don’t like calling me your boyfriend?” Gabriel asked carefully and you looked at him.  
“It makes me think of him, and I don’t want to remember him, especially not while thinking about you. So I’d rather just call you my angel, I think it sounds better. And it sounds deeper too.”  
“I love you, my human.”  
“I love you, my angel.”

Later at night when you were eating chocolate in bed all snuggled up, Gabriel couldn’t help asking.  
“Sweetie, do you by any chance know where Jacob lives?” You straightened up a little bit and looked into your angel’s beautiful eyes.  
“Yes.”  
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”  
“Yes.”


End file.
